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The Mimosa Effect 2

Another one bites the dust

Posted on April 29th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in musings/misc, writing/books | 3 Comments »

April Fools Winner, 50k

50,000 words


67,361 / 50,000 (134.7%)

For those of you who don’t know and/or care about these little monthly writing challenges, that translates into roughly 131 single-spaced pages for the month of April.  May is going to be dedicated to finishing all the missing scenes, correcting timeline anomalies and other such things, so that I can officially be done with the first draft of the novel in time to jump into Script Frenzy in June (yes, I am going to try and write a full-length screenplay in one month; should be fun *mad giggle*). 

I s’pose I could have waited until the official last day of April to post the results, but I’m taking a couple of days off from my frantic scribblings to rest my weary arms, which have spent the last two weeks lugging my harp all over hell’s half acre, and playing it until my wrists feel like they’re about to drop off. Combine that with writing a blue streak and I’m happy to just spend a few days slounging in the sun and regaining some muscle control in my forearms.  (And yes, Real Life doth march on apace throughout this whole process, never fear; I’m not turning into some writing-addicted hermit).

Check out “Pet Projects” (over on the right) if you want to know more about my past six months of writing madness.

A Villanelle on a Line by Gertrude Stein

Posted on April 26th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in Poetry, inspired by | 10 Comments »

This is my rather haphazard attempt at a villanelle for Poetry Thursday. It’s the first time I’ve ever tried this form, and it’s still pretty rough – it might yet morph even further between now and tomorrow morning. The line by Gertrude Stein is, “Callous is something hardening leaves behind” (from the collection “Tender Buttons”). I’m not usually one for forms, or iambic pentameter, but then, neither was Gertrude Stein – which makes it kind of funny to be using one of her lines (albeit tweaked a little) for something like this.

(Not sure yet whether the title will be refrain A, refrain B, or something else.)

Callous is what the hard’ning leaves behind
We all must stumble through this darkened scene
So softly touch and ever yet be kind.

Her voice long lost to carelessness and time,
His face scratched out, his memory scrubbed clean:
Callous is what the hard’ning leaves behind.

Yet once his strong fierce arms encircled mine;
Her laughter broke like sunlight on the leaves.
Oh, softly touch, and ever yet be kind.

A plague of ghosts still shudders in my mind,
All of the people I have never been
Callous is what the hard’ning leaves behind.

Defy intentions birthed in fear and lies,
Destruction only gods and men decree;
Go softly, touch, and ever yet be kind.

There’s nothing left but what we leave in kind
Decry the wars, the enemies unseen
Callous is something hard’ning leaves behind
So softly touch, and ever yet be kind.

- T.H. (12:16 a.m. April 26th ‘07)

The repetition of lines reminded me of the Rondeau form, which I played with in the poem That Mean Shadowed Thing. I find that I can’t help falling into old fashioned language whenever I restrict myself to a form requiring rhyme and a regular repetitive rhythm. I find more freedom in Haiku, which is one of the few forms that I’ll fall into on a regular basis; so far, it’s the only form that’s always felt natural to me, despite the fact that it was designed to be used in a different language. An introduction to Haiku in the Jack Kerouac collection “Scattered Poems” talked about the American Haiku, where the exact number of syllables need not be the same each time, so long as the poem managed to express something profound in just a few short lines.

For more on the villanelle form, check out Jessica’s article over at Poetry Thursday.

The grand conspiracy of incompetence

Posted on April 19th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in Poetry, musings/misc | 4 Comments »

I didn’t have time to try out Poetry Thursday’s totally awesome idea for this week, Guerilla Poetry, but I’m definitely keeping it mind for later. I love the idea of dropping poetry where people will least expect it, imagining someone finding random poetry in the most unlikely of places. Maybe that can be a kind of sneaky summer project, if I can find some time when The Beast is sleeping. In the meantime, another older poem for today. I can’t help feeling somewhat cynical these last few days, even while part of me is revelling in the return of spring.

The Grand Conspiracy of Incompetence

Pay attention, boys, it’s the match of the century
the archangel of reality
against the grand conspiracy
of incompetence and greed
pay attention, boys, be sure to root for the home team
the stadium is packed, they’re selling everything they got
cards crack like Chinese fireworks
money changes hands like rice in a famine
hadn’t realized I was thirsty until I took a sip
now Gabriel and Einstein are
flying through the starfish pyramids
they’re arguing about relativity
again
If everything is relative
perhaps I was wrong to disbelieve it
I should have never underestimated the sharpness of
the dull end of a needle
that guy is looking pretty smug
I think I’ll smash his face in
he’s been staring like narcissus into the pool of his denial
think I’ll jump and splash the puddle
send a million splinters flying
If everything is relative
I’ll think I’ll change the state I’m in
matter in a state of conjunction
never mind the man behind the screen
hey I think the angel’s losing
shedding purity like water
here he’s coming let’s go meet him
before he fades away for ever
if everything is relative
maybe it’s time to change my tune
’cause any song you know can save your soul.

- T.H. (Nov. 24th, 2001)

Check out Poetry Thursday if you want to find out more about guerilla poetry, or if you just feel like reading some cool poems.

Lost in the prose

Posted on April 18th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in musings/misc, writing/books | No Comments »

Doesn’t really feel like almost a week has passed since that last post, but there it is.  I can’t blame spring, considering it really only became spring again this afternoon, when we finally got our warm breezy sunshiny day. (The past week has been miserably dreary, drizzly, and cold). So I was really only tempted to go outside for a few hours today; otherwise I’ve been quite happy to burrow into my nice warm house-cave.

I can, however, blame The Beast, for taking up a hefty portion of my free time and pretty much all my writing energy.  I wanted to make up for March being rather lackluster in the writing department, so I set a goal of 35k for April, which then got bumped up to 50k (the same amount as NaNoWriMo).  As a result of my neglecting many things including this poor little journal, I have this to show for it:

Oh yeah – and about 80 single-spaced pages (!), almost all of which are novel-related.  Some of those are actual chapter segments, while a goodly stack of them are writing exercises designed to help me get to know my characters better. (like the interview technique I mentioned earlier).  A lot of the stuff in the exercises won’t actually end up in the novel proper, but it’s been invaluable in helping me round out all my MC’s. And, as a nice side benefit, I’ve filled in a few plot holes along the way, so we should all have a smoother ride from here on in.

(I should perhaps point out one of the coolest things about April Fools: you can get winner’s pips for as little as 500 words.  Then after the 5k mark it starts to go up in 5k intervals.  Hence the reason it says “winner”, when I haven’t quite reached my monthly goal of 50k yet. And no, we don’t actually win anything, it’s just a nice little ego-booster each time you accomplish a goal).

I’ll try to get a poem up for tomorrow, probably another oldie though.  I’ve been spending so much time novelling lately I haven’t written a new poem in weeks.  Maybe that would be a good goal for May, once April Fool’s is over: Write more poetry!  Definitely a worthy activity now that spring is properly here; something one can do leaning against a tree out in a field with a notebook and pen.

chocolate mint and patchouli

Posted on April 11th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in Poetry, musings/misc, writing/books | 8 Comments »

Wow, I feel really out of the loop today. I’ve definitely fallen off the little moebius loop of the poetry world lately, been way too immersed in the Novel That Is Threatening To Eat My Life. So I totally missed this week’s prompt until it was far too late. But Thursdays really aren’t nearly as much fun without a poem, so here’s a little freefall poem I wrote last year. I need to remind myself sometimes to dig deep into the senses when I’m writing prose, to not let the mechanics of storytelling overwhelm the potential beauty of the language, the ability for it to make your mouth water, make you squirm, make you want to take a deep breath or lick your lips or sigh or scratch an itch or reach for a glass of water.

chocolate mint

chocolate mint
calendula cucumber
orange and patchouli

these are some of my favourite smells

a suite of islands, a string of pearls
a list of things I should have done
a wooden dolphin leaping over
a whorled piece of wood,
torn from the knotty heart
of an ancient oak

the sharp scent of grapefruit
stings my sinuses
making eyes water
a good way to wake up
better than bombs
being dropped on the roof
better than
someone breaking down your door
while you slowly turn and turn
into a giant bug, squirming
under the thumb of man
his eye huge, like a bloated moon

this is the one thing
we should never take for granted

- T.H. (March 2006)

Sleeping in a Sunbeam

Posted on April 7th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in pics | 2 Comments »

…Is what I would dearly like to be doing right now.  Cats are the true relaxation experts; if only I could learn to relax like that.  One of the things I love about M’s camera is the ability to zoom in on a picture until you can see every single hair of the cat’s fur, all the different shades hidden in the tabby coat.  (You can click on these to get a bigger version.)

Our tabby cat Jake, picture by Mark Harrison

Curly paw Jake sleeping in a sunbeam, picture by Mark Harrison

A System in Decline

Posted on April 5th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in musings/misc | 6 Comments »

 

It’s a little hard to be pro-active about your health when the health care system is in chaos.  And the most damnably frustrating thing is, no one seems to give a crap – no one with the power to do anything about it, that is.  It doesn’t seem to matter a whit who you vote for, either; they all give great lip service, and then proceed to do absolutely nothing whatsoever.

We lost another family doctor today.  The third in a series of family doctors who all quit their family practice to go work in the hospitals.  I’ve been living in Peterborough for almost sixteen years now, and in that time my husband and I have had three family doctors – all hard won, I might add.  For a total of seven years that we’ve actually been under a doctor’s care, there have been nine years where we weren’t.  Each time it was a matter of waiting for several years, constantly being told no, so-and-so doesn’t have a waiting list; and each time, we just happened to squeeze in through sheer luck: a friend gave us a just-in-time tip that a doctor was temporarily accepting new patients, or there was a new doctor “in town” (actually in Lindsay, 45 minutes drive from where we live).

The last time, we arrived at the medical facility first thing in the morning, on the day they announced they would be taking applications, to find what looked like a community fair in progress. We wondered for a moment whether we’d even come to the right place.  The front of the facility – entrance way, parking lot, lawn – was literally full of people, a throng worthy of a pop music festival just about to get underway – many of them seniors.  Everyone would file in, pick up their application form, and, due to the lack of anywhere to sit, simply sit down on the curb or the grass and fill out their form.  There must have been thousands of people, and we knew only a tiny percentage of those would get in.  We went home in low spirits, certain it had been a waste of time.  Luckily, we were one of the few accepted.  Now, just two years later, and our doctor is following in the footsteps of our previous doctors, closing down his brand new family practice to go work full time in the emergency room at the local hospital.  I think of how maddening this has been for us, and then try to imagine what it must be like for the elderly, or families with young children, or people with serious medical conditions.  Much as we have felt abandoned each time, I can’t say that I really blame the doctors; there must be something wrong with the system, that they feel family practice to be so unfulfilling, so unsustainable.

I sometimes wonder if the system has ever been truly functional; perhaps I was just too young to know better.  Then I think about how for the ten years that I lived in Nepean with my father and step-family, we had the same family doctor the entire time, a wonderful woman and excellent physician.  And she was still going strong by the time I officially moved away from home for the last time.  I remember all through university and for most of the twelve years since, chiropractic care was subsidized under OHIP.  Now that, along with many other services, is no longer covered.

I remember when Canada’s health care system was an institution to be proud of; something we held up to other countries like a beacon, saying, see?  If we can do it, so can you!  Now it’s just a goddam disaster.  It’s not just something they’re constantly bemoaning on national TV; it’s us, our friends, our relatives, our neighbours.  People aren’t getting taken care of.  This is supposed to be a country that takes care of people.   If anyone out there knows how to fix this, knows how to do something more than vote hopelessly and fruitlessly again and again, or fire off pointless angry letters, do please let me know.  Because I really, really want our country to be healthy again.

Even the pros have bad days

Posted on April 4th, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in musings/misc, writing/books | No Comments »

Laini Taylor over at Grow Wings is not only an excellent writer (period), but is also one of the best that I know of at writing about writing. “the gods are whispering about me, and not in a good way” is a perfect little encapsulation about the trials and tribulations of writing.  Also made me seriously reconsider taking up knitting; my brain could use the break.

Stupid Rules

Posted on April 3rd, 2007 by desert rat
Posted in musings/misc, writing/books | No Comments »

In the hopes of fostering this newly found writing-related trait of mine called “discipline” (yeah, I know, all sorts of connotations to that word), I have been trying to set some ground rules for myself lately.  Not just in terms of The Beast (a.k.a. the novel), but life in general.  And I’m realizing now that my latest rule was one that I will henceforth avoid in the future (henceforth – isn’t that a great word?  I love old-fashioned words). I’m right at the end of wrapping up a music-related project that I’m way behind on, so I made a rule for myself that I wasn’t allowed to read any books until I was done.  Well, three weeks later, the end is finally in sight (the project should be off to the printers tomorrow), and there are still three novels and an autobiography sitting in the same place on our living room table, untouched. 

Maybe I should feel proud of myself for sticking to my promise, since it was really only made from me to me and no one would know if I broke it.  Instead, I’m thinking it was a really stupid rule.  Sure, reading is not what many would call a “productive” activity; but it’s a hell of a lot more beneficial than wasting time online, which is what ended up happening as an alternate means of procrastination.  And when you think about it, reading is productive – it can jump start ideas, train your brain to recognize effective writing versus sloppy writing, inspire strong emotions that you can use in your own writing.  Reading a novel, short story or poetry are all active experiences, even though it might not look like it from the outside – you are actively engaging your imagination, all the facets of your mind, to put yourself inside the story, or draw some meaning from the poem.

So my latest note to self is: Never make a rule that restricts writing or reading.  Instead try to focus on the real culprits: television and mindlessly browsing the net.  Although I think to some extent TV has its own benefits as a worthwhile media, and can be inspirational in its own way (not just mind-numbing), it should be something consumed in small doses on an occasional rather than regular basis (like junk food).  Now that spring is here, and the urge to curl up on the couch and hibernate is waning, hopefully I can steer things in a more fulfilling direction – more outdoorsy stuff, more reading and writing – less idiot box and internet prowling.  Call it a spring resolution, if you will.